My Mom: on indie rock and the kids today

mackro's mom: so anyway, I have a question to ask you regarding alternative music

me: *???*

mackro's mom: mackro?

me: Yes! Go ahead, what about that alternative music today?

mackro's mom: Well, I was over at [my friend] Pam's today with her son... and he was playing a lot of music I haven't heard before. Pam told me her son was into alternative music, but I wanted to ask you something about that. I know I'm not hip and I'm old so please don't make fun of me. *laugh*

me: Oh, I'll try really hard to not make fun of you, mom! haha, no go ahead, ask away.

mackro's mom: Why is it that alternative music now sounds like bad folk music sung by old people?

me: *SHOCKED PAUSE* UM!

mackro's mom: ...or really bad Elton John, or Neil Young?

me: Um... good question!

mackro's mom: mackro, I thought you were really into alternative music

me: I am, but I've been peeking all over for stuff I haven't heard before these days, whether it's new or old or popular or whatever. I used to be into that a decade ago in college, but I don't bother keeping up so much anymore.

mackro's mom: well, good, because I can't believe what passes for "music" with some of these bands. Have you heard of Ed Ward?

me: You mean M. Ward?

mackro's mom: Yes. M. Ward. God! Why do people listen to that? How old is he?

me: I don't know. Probably late 20s?

mackro's mom: You're kidding!

me: he's not old

mackro's mom: he sounds like he's 75.

me: *pause* yup, you got me

mackro's mom: And The Flaming Lips. What kind of.... weirdos call themselves "The Flaming Lips"? That's sounds so gross. Yeeach! And that voice is so horrible.

me: I like some of their material. They've changed a lot over the years.

mackro's mom: you mean they're not a new band?

me: No! They've been around since 1984.. at least.

mackro's mom: *pause*... huh. Well, they're awful now.

me: .....OK!

mackro's mom: the only band Pam's son played that wasn't as bad as the rest was Cat Power. They sounded ok, but that singer always sounds like she's about to fall asleep.

me: yup

mackro's mom: I wrote these down because I had to ask you this question. I hope you don't think I'm weird.

me: I'm probably weirder than Pam's son.. trust me.

mackro's mom: Don't say that! Do you have any idea what he looks like?

me: no

mackro's mom: he looks like Alfalfa from the Little Rascals

me: wow

mackro's mom: ALL the kids in our neighborhood are starting to look like the Little Rascals. It's weird. It makes no sense.

me: do you see a lot of pitbulls with circles around one eye?

mackro's mom: ....what? There are lots of really irresponsible people who have pitbulls because they're trendy and then don't take care of them and send them to the pound once they're bored with them. But circles?

me: you don't remember the dog? The little Rascals dog?

mackro's mom: mackro, you don't look like Alfalfa, do you?

me: NO!

mackro's mom: Ok, good. well, anyway, The Shins. Pam calls them "The Shits" *laugh* We don't tell her son that, though.

me: LOL

mackro's mom: And Joanne Newton?

me: Joanna Newsom?

mackro's mom: DEAR GOD! I thought Kim Carnes sounded like a hag. Kim Carnes sounds like.. oh i don't know.. like Celine Dion in comparison! *laugh* ACTUALLY, mackro, do you remember that cartoon show when you were a kid.. HR Puf N Stuf?

me: of course!

mackro's mom: Well Joan-na New-som sounds like.. what was the name of the witch in that show?

me: Witchiepoo?

mackro's mom: She sounds exactly like Witchiepoo! *laugh* I can't believe this is what kids like to listen to these days.

me: ...

mackro's mom: I thought you would know more about these bands and could explain why people think they're good at all. You obviously know who the bands are, so how can you know who they are and not like them?

me: LOL, sorry. I'm either above or below the radar of those bands usually. I hear enough about them to know the names, but that's it.

mackro's mom: Hmm. OK. *laugh* Well, just promise me that if you ever become a rock and roll star, you'll never call yourself something as bad as "The Flaming Lips". YEEEEACH!

me: It will be the best band name ever.

mackro's mom: I love you, mackro